What do you do now?

They say he has cancer, that it's bad, all over. There isn't much hope and the old man (spoken affectionately) is dying. He's 76 and he's lived a full life but for years he's been a dad to me, a grandfather to my kids and even knowing how old he is I am heartbroken. I don't want him to die, I just can't fathom the thought of not being able to call and talk to him. I love that old man more than he will ever know, he's old school and I love you's aren't common place for him. He has cancer in his lymph nodes and stomach, and a mass that is now closing off his esophagus. He is having a bit of trouble breathing, he can't eat without throwing up. He's lost 50 pounds in a small amount of time, in short he's dying. What do I do now?

 

I found this (here http://www.stanford.edu/~bfenton/parenting.html) with Stumble enjoy.....

Preparation for parenthood...

It's not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.

1. Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a pillowcase filled with beans down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for paternity, go to the local drug store, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper. Read it for the last time.

 

2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it -- it'll be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

 

3. To discover how the nights will feel, walk around the living room from 5 pm to 10 pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious noise) playing loudly. At 10 pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1 am. Put the alarm on for 3 am. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2 am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45 am. Get up again at 3 am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4 am. Put the alarm on for 5 am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

 

4. Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, first smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds, then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

 

5. Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: first buy an octopus and a bag made out of loose mesh. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this: all morning.

 

6. Take an egg carton, using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Last, take a milk carton, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Pops and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations! You have just qualified for a place on the play group committee.

 

7. Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it in the cassette player. Take a family-size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect.

 

8. Get ready to go out. Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

 

9. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.

 

10. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a preschool child -- a fully-grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

 

11. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12-month-old baby.

 

12. Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

When you find yourself singing "I Love You" at work, you finally qualify as a parent.

Jokes for the Pregnant couple

I found this here http://parents.berkeley.edu/jokes/pregnant.html and had to share


This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection

Q. Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers
   rather than briefs?
A. Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear
   anything at all.

Q. What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A. Have sex once a year.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. My blood type is O-positive and my husband's is A-negative.
   What if my  baby is born, say, type AB-positive?
A. Then the jig is up.


Q. My husband and I are very attractive. I'm sure our baby will
   be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact
   about this?
A. Your therapist.

Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose, and
   genes for big noses are dominant, my baby will have a big nose
   as well. Is this true?
A. The odds are greater that your brother will have a fat lip.

Q. Since I became pregnant, My breasts, rear end, and even my
   feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during
   pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. Ever since I've been pregnant, I haven't been able to go to
   bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A. Depends on what you're doing with them.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.
   Why?
A. Cause you're fatter then they are.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
   borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question, d*&!#@%?

Q. Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?
A. No, but your husband might get on your nerves.

Q. Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring
   on labor?
A. When the sex is between your husband and another woman.

Q. What's the difference between a nine-months pregnant woman and
   a Playboy centerfold?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during
 labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my
   wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q. I'm modest. Once I'm in the hospital to deliver, who will see
   me in that delicate position?
A. Authorized personnel only -- doctors, nurses, oderlies, photographers,
   florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.

Q. Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
A. Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.

Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.

Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra.  It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.

Q. What is the grasp reflex?
A. The reaction of new fathers when they see a new mother's breasts.

Q. Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
A. Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and
   puts him to sleep first.

Q. What happens to disposable diapers after they're thrown away?
A. They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in the event of global
   chemical warfare.


Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q. What causes baby blues?
A. Tanned, hard-bodied bimbos.

Q. What is colic?
A. A reminder for new parents to use birth control.

Q. What are night terrors?
A. Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she's pregnant again.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
   normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.

Toy recall: Fisher-Price Little People Play ‘n Go Campsite recall

Toy recall: Fisher-Price Little People Play ‘n Go Campsite recall: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

If you have this toy set for your child or know anyone who has pass this to them. Pass it on anyway.

Well crap!

Why the hell is it that some people just have to have the last word or hurt? You have a pain and theirs is always worse. You could lose a limb but I guarantee you they hurt worse. Their life is sooo bad, sooo hard. And most times they bring it on themselves, yet they want pity. I am so frustrated. Why the hell do people do this? These people also have a tendency to put you down to make themselves feel better. Yep, I said it, they do it. And it's really pissing me off!

ASPCA | Free and Low-Cost Spay/Neuter Database

ASPCA | Free and Low-Cost Spay/Neuter Database: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Kyron Horman....where is he?

LOOK AT MY FACE! LOOK FOR ME! HELP ME GET HOME!


http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/06/25/earlyshow/main6617351.shtml
http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/06/kyron_hormans_parents_reveal_n.html


My heart just breaks for the family of this little boy. I am appalled that it happens way too often, a child going missing. What is this world coming to? I pray he is found safely, I pray for his family, may they have strength and hope. I cannot even begin to imagine the hell that this must be for them. Please lift them and Kyron in your prayers and share his picture with everyone you know.